I have survived a long time struggling with my mental health. I have fallen over the…
I turned 23 on March 19th 2017. I guess that means it’s about time for me to ponder where my life is going and how I’ve come to be where I am today. I enjoy a good ol’ reflective post (mainly for the little bit of bragging I get to do about how I’m pretty content and proud of where I’m at). Recently, not a lot has changed since my last few posts so I’m going to talk about my journey to 23 prior to this year.
I feel like I’ve had such a wholesome, fruitful life; especially during my younger years. I had what I described to my therapist as “a text-book childhood (so tell me, Natalie, WHY am I still insane?!)”. I’ve been on many holidays and adventures that all seem to blur into one when I try to remember them. My earliest memory is of me trying to hold onto my mum (and crying a lot) on my first day at play-school because I REALLY did not want to go. I remember being quite an ambitious, funny child. At 6 years old I wanted to be “a barbie lady”. At 8, I wanted to be a “professional cheese grater” – not the object, someone who professionally grates cheese – great aspiration, right? At 10, a lawyer, a writer, a dancer, in the army, on the moon and travelling the world. A funny child, indeed.
I’m glad I can no longer say I still feel like a teenager even though I’m in my 20’s, because I really don’t. Although, it does feel strange to think I’m closer to 30 than I am to 15. I used to listen to that Taylor Swift song about being 15 thinking “it’s OK I don’t need to have it all figured out yet.” and now all I can think of is Blink 182 – Whats My Age Again? and how fun it would be to run around causing havoc in the nude like they do in the music video. Maybe, I no longer feel like a teenager because I’m an actual adult-sized baby who only wants to run around in the nude screaming at people?
Or maybe I should go back to my therapist.
– peace and love, Emily xo